Is Smaller Better? Finding the Best Place for Mom.
Alzheimer’s/Memory Care, Assisted Living, Finding The Right Care Option
Finding the best place for mom (or Dad for that matter) can be quite a challenge.
I am a huge fan of the smaller assisted living residential care homes and personal care homes. In fact, we placed my mother in law in a home environment. That said, it may not always be the best choice. Every situation is different. However, if someone you love is really needing more care than they are able to get at home this may be your best choice. So, let’s clarify what this is.
What is a Residential Care Home?
In the state of Texas, any facility that cares for 16 or fewer individuals may be considered a Residential Care Home. They may also use the term Assisted Living if they meet the requirements.
All assisted living facilities must be licensed in the state of Texas. Smaller homes must follow the same requirements as the large assisted living facilities. These homes are located all over Houston. They can be found in elegant upscale subdivisions or in more modest areas of town.
Does Size Matter?
When you are looking for a place for someone you love, think “care”. That is really what you are buying. If your loved one does not need someone to assist them on a daily basis you would not be looking for a care home or assisted living facility.
We Want the Best for Our Parent
When we were looking for a place for my MIL, my husband wanted the best for her. He thought that meant a large facility that was elegant. He wanted a place that had the look and feel of a fine hotel. But his mother needed a lot of care. She had physical limitations. As such, she needed help with bathing and dressing. She also needed assistance getting up and down and walking with her walker.
As do many people over 80 she also had the beginnings of dementia. Someone needed to watch her at all times. She would forget that her legs were not working well and would try to stand up unassisted. And she would fall. Because of dementia, she was no longer participating in games with her friends at the independent apartment where she lived.
So, I sent my husband into one of the big, elegant places to have a look. I told him to just walk in like he knew where he was going. Do not sign in. Just walk through the building and come back and tell me what you think.
His Eyes Were Wide Open
“Nobody asked me who I was and what I was doing here!” he exclaimed. “Plus, I had to help two old ladies open the door to their apartment. Nobody else was around to help them.”
I asked him if he thought his mom would get good care at this facility. “No!” was the answer. “I think it is time to look at some of those care homes.”
The Difference Between A Large Assisted Living Facility and A Smaller Assisted Living Residential Care Home
The number one difference is the ratio of caregivers to residents. In the larger facilities, there is often 1 caregiver for every 8 residents. (Sometimes they will say they have 1 staff member for every 4 but let’s face it, the bookkeeper, chef, marketing and housekeepers all have their own job to do. The chance that they will be helping mom get dressed or go to the bathroom is pretty small) You want to know how many caregivers are available.
So, if your parent needs help with multiple activities daily you need a place where they will get that kind of attention. If they do not need that extra care maybe they do not need assisted living at all. A 55+ apartment or Independent living facility may work just fine.
What if Mom has Alzheimer’s or some other type of dementia?
The truth is most assisted living or residential care homes care for people with some degree of dementia. In fact, 1 in two people over the age of 80 have dementia. That said, there are many different types of dementia. Alzheimer’s is the most common form, but there are other types like vascular dementia and Lewy body dementia that are common also. Each type may manifest in different ways.
When visiting a community, you will probably be asked about your parents’ behaviors and symptoms. Answer honestly. This way you will be able to find the best fit. You do not want to move your parent again if you can help it. And every community is different.
There are Residential Care Homes that are Alzheimer’s Certified. These homes meet an extra set of rules and guidelines from the state to be designated as such. And, these homes are secure. So, if you have someone who is prone to wandering you will want a secured place. Furthermore, for the resident that is prone to wandering make sure you find a place that allows them to easily move around the building.
This is why the 16-bed model has become popular for Memory Care Homes.
These 16-bed homes are becoming quite popular. They are still small enough to have a higher caregiver to resident ratio. Yet they are large enough to allow room to wander. Many have access to a secured backyard also. In the smaller homes, there may not be enough room for people, especially those on walkers to move around. This can cause anxiety and frustration in the Dementia patient as they try to escape.
The 16-bed homes feel spacious yet homelike. Residents are usually allowed to roam where ever they want to. And the place is still small enough that caregivers are able to keep an eye on the residents. That way when someone needs assistance the caregiver can be right there.
What About Unlicensed Homes?
I am often asked about unlicensed homes. Families are often afraid that unlicensed means the care may not be good. In Texas, if you care for 3 or fewer residents (4 if one is a family member) you do not have to have a license. While I would not advise looking at any home that cares for more than 3 and is unlicensed, the 3 beds often give exceptional care. Most of the time I have discovered that these homes are run by caregivers with huge hearts. They often care for, or previously cared for, a family member. Some are even run by nurses and social workers who just want to make a difference.
Do Your Due Diligence
Just as any place large or small you want to do your due diligence. Google the facility to see what shows up. Visit at different times of the day. Ask your friends on Facebook or Next Door if they know anything about this business. Spend time talking with the owner. Get to know them and their philosophy.
So How Do I Find One of These Places?
It has often been more challenging to find these homes. They are small and as such do not have large budgets for advertising. This is why I created the Care Home List at Find Houston Senior Care. The list is updated weekly! And you can see the prices and call the owner directly. I visit all of the homes. Furthermore, some do not make the list. These homes may be the right solution for the care needs of your loved one.
Kathryn Watson is the Founder of Find Houston Senior Care. This directory was created to help families like hers who were struggling to find the best care for an aging loved one.
She is the author of Help! My Parents Are Aging and Help! I Can’t Do This Alone
Kathryn produces and is the Host of The Life After 50 Show on Facebook and Producer and Co-Host and Producer of the Toni Says Show.
Originally published at findhoustonseniorcare.com.
